July 21, 2011


These are the days I will cherish forever. The days where everything seems perfect and your heart is full. I have been struggling lately because in two weeks, my baby starts Kindergarten. I’m so excited for him and I know he will love it and will excel. BUT…I don’t want to let go. I just want to be home with him every day and I want him to be my sweet baby forever. I know that’s not how it works and I know it’s best for him to grow up and learn and make friends and get away but it’s just so hard for me. I think Bauer must know how I’m feeling because he has been especially tender the last few days. He has never been much of a Mama’s boy but for the past few days he has wanted to play and snuggle and has given me endless hugs and kisses. The other night when I tucked him in, he asked if I would lay with him for a while. “Don’t go Mommy.” So I promised I would stay as long as he promised to go to sleep and not to talk and play and try to keep himself awake. He begged to play with my hair for a minute. He loves to have me put it in a ponytail and to wind it around his hands and run his fingers through it. And honestly, I love that too. I’ve always loved having my hair played with. It’s so relaxing. So I let him do that for just a minute and then told him he had to sleep. So he scooted right up next to me, put his arm around my neck and his face against mine and hugged and that’s how he fell asleep. The next night as I was tucking him in he hugged me and said “Mama, you’re the nicest person in the world.” Then as I was leaving his room he said “I have a secret to tell you. Two actually.” So I went back and leaned in so he could tell me his secret. He said “Thanks for being such a good Mom. And thank you for working so hard for me and for making me a chore chart.” My heart melted. He is such a sweet boy with such a tender heart and he truly is grateful for the things I do. Things that most kids take for granted. Like laundry. When I make him put his clothes away, instead of complaining that he has to put them away, he thanks me for washing them. Granted, he has his moments of whining and complaining and “poor me” but for the most part he is an angel and I am so thankful for him. I think that is part of why it is so hard for me to let him go to school. I want him to stay pure and innocent and grateful. I don’t want him to grow up and say “mom, don’t hold my hand anymore okay”. I don't want to hear the “I hate you” that I know is coming not far down the road. But for now, life is perfect.

1 comment:

BreeAnn said...

cute post Katie! I am only sending Karson to pre-school this year, but I kind of know how you feel!